A Love Letter to Maine

Maine I may have finally figured you out and just in time to leave you
behind. You're a place of contradictions but you're certainly
beautiful. I guess I see a lot of myself in you.
You're a mystical place where no one locks their doors or their cars,
but you all password protect your wifi. Clearly underneath the sweet
veneer lies a bit of a douche and don't I know what that's like.
You have many wonders. You have the flagship LL Bean store, the only
thing open 24 hours. Which is good because it's important to be able
to, at any time in the night based on whatever impulse, purchase a
firearm. America!

I believe right below LL Bean on the list of things to do in Maine
(and right above shoot self or others) is visiting Eartha. Yes, Maine you have
the prestigious title of being home to the worlds largest (drum roll)
globe. You clearly have an appreciation for the pointless

And don't care too much for fact checking. 

So Maine we are pretty much the same bitch which is why we need to take a break. I'll do me, you do you. And who knows maybe in a few years I'll wash up on your shore.

Till then... 

Maine you are the one true Maine event. 

Goodbye